Implications
by ashkash95
Summary: Thrown words and spells and all that is implied. Alas the characters and world are not mine but belong to the Queen, JK Rowling. For icaruswings on tumblr for Jily Secret Valentine!


James Potter had been in love with Lily Evans since he was eleven years old. Well, as much as any eleven year old can be in love. All he really knew was that he cared far too much when she grew irritated with him which, unfortunately for him, was quite often. He was in love with her and everyone knew it. It was clear to everyone even through the thrown hexes that there was something there between them so when the couple finally did get together, few were shocked. In fact, a vast majority of the Hogwarts population was relieved that the sexual tension would finally be resolved. And while most of the population could see that his affections resembled love more than like, Lily, as bright as she was, did not. And so it was that they found themselves in the predicament of unspoken feelings in their budding romance in mid-November.

James Potter strolled into the Head Dorms after his last class and found his girlfriend reading on the couch and plopped down next to her. "How did I end up with such a swot of a girlfriend?" he complained.

"Must've lured you into it, I suppose." She grinned but her eyes stayed on the page.

He smiled at the sight. "Oh, Evans. You didn't have class just now. Even you must have better things to do on a Friday afternoon than read."

"Well, Potter, my boyfriend did have class so he seemed a bit too busy to snog. I settled."

He smirked. "Suppose that could change now."

He moved closer and kissed her firmly. She put the book down and leaned deeper into the kiss. And then, all too soon in James's opinion, she pushed him off of her. She laughed at his gaping but she did appreciate the way he looked with his entire appearance slightly askew.

"I was getting into the book so I changed my mind," she replied loftily.

He laughed. "C'mon Lily. You have all weekend to study."

"Shush, James. This isn't schoolwork. I was reading for the fun of it. And like I just said, I was enjoying myself."

"For the fun of it?" He scowled but his eyes revealed his genuine affection. "You're mad, Lily Evans. Merlin, I love you."

James froze and Lily's eyes widened. Quietly, he asked, "Did I just say that out loud?" Lily nodded. His hand automatically ran through his hair. "Ah, bugger." He mentally berated himself for letting something so important slip out without much of a second thought. They sat in awkward silence for a few moments before James glanced at Lily. Her expression hadn't changed and while James knew he caught her off guard, he really hadn't expected his girlfriend to look absolutely terrified. "Uh, Lils? Say something? You all right, Evans?"

Lily snapped out of her temporary paralysis. "I have to go." She jumped up abruptly, grabbed her jumper and bag, and ran out the door.

James groaned and followed her out. She was walking quickly but he caught up with her. "Lily, Lils, please talk to me."

"James, I just, I can't right now. Leave me be."

James for some reason felt his worry be tinged with annoyance. "Is this really how it's going to be, Lily? We're going back to dancing around each other with no real attempts at sorting out our feelings and our relationship?"

Lily's eyes flashed with anger. "Oh, I'm not avoiding anything. I just happen to think about what I say before I blurt out things I couldn't possibly mean."

James's mouth set in a hard line but Lily was too inexplicably cross to care at the moment. "I couldn't possibly mean? Do explain that one, Lils."

"We're seventeen years old. We've been dating barely for a month. How could you just say you love me like that? Bloody hell, it sounds more like the fifth year version of you not my boyfriend."

James let out a humorless laugh and Lily couldn't help but realize that her argument was less than sound. "That's all you've got to say? And really are we bringing up fifth year now? I guess I can too, right? Well, let's see. Fifth year you probably would've hexed me by now just for telling her the truth. She didn't give a damn about me. Dodged a bullet back then, didn't I?" James froze. It seemed that he had forgotten that he was quarreling with Lily his girlfriend not Lily the girl he loved to infuriate and the words really had fallen out of his mouth. "Ah, Lily, I didn't mean that."

Her voice was deathly low, a sure sign that she was outraged. "Oh, you didn't? You didn't mean that I was cruel? That I hated you? Because, James, if you truly think that, then I don't know what we're doing."

He sighed in frustration. "I didn't say any of that!"

"Well, you implied it."

He registered the tremble in her voice as she ran off. She pushed past Sirius who seemed to have caught the tail end of their argument. He quickly made his way over to James who was once again tugging at his hair. "Mate, what happened?" Sirius asked.

"I accidentally told her I loved her. Meant it. But it came out of nowhere." Sirius's eyebrows shot up. "She freaked a little. I got mad. Things were said. Things about fifth year."

"Ah." Sirius winced. Fifth year was a part of the James and Lily saga that was to be avoided in the midst of a fight. "And I'm assuming that's when she went running off?"

James nodded. "I just-I didn't think she would be so upset over it. Surprised, maybe. But a bloke would hope that his girlfriend wasn't completely revolted by the thought of her boyfriend being in love with her."

Sirius had a curious look in his eyes. "I think I'm going to go talk to her, okay?"

James nodded. Glumly, he told Sirius, "She'll be in the library. It's where she always goes if we fight." He groaned and made his way back to his room.

Sirius on with slight pity and sure enough, in a few minutes, he found Lily writing furiously in a corner of the library.

"Hullo, Evans," he greeted, sitting down across from her.

"Black," she replied curtly glancing up at him.

He rolled his eyes. "Oh, don't tell me you're mad at me too. I for one had no idea that your boyfriend was going to blurt out his affections without any warning." He leaned across the table, making her look at him. "But I have to ask, Ginger. What made you run?"

She didn't meet his gaze and instead stammered out, "What do you mean?"

He leaned back, tipping his chair back, and smirked. "Evans, you're barmy but I know that even you wouldn't be _angry _that James is in love with you. So what has your feathers ruffled?"

She scowled. "Nothing." He raised an eyebrow and she groaned. Reluctantly, she admitted, "It scares me."

"Being in love?"

Slowly, she answered, "A bit. I mean falling in love is big. Of course, that's scary. But falling in love with James Potter? And James Potter falling in love with me? Amidst a war centered around the fact that there are people like him who don't want people like me around? How am I supposed to just let…"

Her voice trailed off and Sirius frowned. "Now, Ginger, you know that sort of stuff don't matter to James or his parents. You can't let that stop you."

"It's not stopping me. But it certainly doesn't help things." She sighed. "I'll figure this out."

Sirius offered her a half smile. "I'm sure you will, Lils." He gets up and gives her a hug. "I'll go tell Prongs to quit his worrying. Find him later, yeah?" She nodded and Sirius left the library.

She turned back to her homework as a distraction but couldn't focus on her Potions assignment. Instead, she turned to her Charms work. They had learned the Patronus charm yesterday and only a few, including James, had gotten it. Typically, she was good at Charms but she just couldn't get this spell right. Professor Flitwick had said that it helped if someone was emotional at the time; it was easier to call up memories. She wasn't sure if her current state of emotions was the type he was referring to but it was worth a shot.

She settled on a memory from the train ride in back in September. It was a few weeks before they had gotten together but she already had butterflies at the sight of him. They were sitting with their friends, basking in the seventh year glow. She caught his eye and he grinned back at her. Nothing specific happened but something about the whole thing felt _right_.

She took a deep breath and lifted her wand. Steadily, she said, "Expecto Patronum." Nothing more than a wisp flew out of her wand. She focused on the memory harder. It took a few tries but finally the patronus came. She smiled widely before breaking her concentration as she realized what form her patronus took. And then she laughed. Who knew it was really that simple?

She walked out of the library with a sort of smile on her face to find James sitting a little ways off playing with a snitch. Her smile grew as she sat down next to him.

He tucked the snitch into his pocket and turned to her. His eyes were worried. "Hey," he said softly. "I'm sorry about before."

"I know. I know you didn't mean it and it wasn't right of me to jump down your throat when I was the one who brought it up in the first place. Truce?" He smiled and kissed her cheek. She looked down for a moment. "And I'm sorry about running away. That wasn't fair."

"No, Lily…"

She shook her head. "No, it wasn't. I shouldn't have. So I'm sorry." He nodded slowly. She grinned enigmatically. "Could you do the patronus charm for me?"

He smirked. "Wanna see my amazing skills in action?"

She rolled her eyes and punched his arm affectionately. "No, you git. I want to show you something."

He performed the charm and the stag came just as easily as it had the other day. He turned to face her with an arrogant smile. Her smile was a bit more whimsical and she lifted her own wand. He watched with admiration as she quietly but confidently said the incantation. The doe flew. James's eyes widened as he watched the two patronuses interact, realizing what it meant. She laughed at his expression. The patronuses faded as he turned to her and kissed her passionately. They broke apart after a few moments, both their eyes bright.

"I love you, Lily Evans."

"I love you, too, James Potter," she replied softly.

"I know."

She smiled "Do you now?"

He nodded his head in the direction where their patronuses had been and smiled. "Well, you see, you implied it."


End file.
